yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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