all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
