Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
