opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
