i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize