I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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