she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
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