Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Did I show you my penis last night?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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