Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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