"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
