Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
The air taste purple.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
