I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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