If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
