that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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