Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
