drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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