i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
