I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
false alarm. still invincible.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I didn't notice because vodka
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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