he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Just high enough for therapy.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize