Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize