he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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