I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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