A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
