I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
