You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
