he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
