Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
