yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
