She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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