i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
