went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
