at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Dicks are not precious.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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