Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
