nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Just fell off a train. Bad.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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