you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
