Whod you bang
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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