He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
