You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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