Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
