I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Randomize
