so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize