Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Randomize
