so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
