wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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