am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
