Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
