Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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