I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
