We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
