everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Terrible idea I love it
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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