Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
