So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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