i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
