Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
