I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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