no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
