i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
