Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
