Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
