babies were throwing up all over the place
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I AM VODKA MAN
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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