those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
