So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
