White coat. Heels.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
