So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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