There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize