This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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