I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
