google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
