thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
