SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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