Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I need to align my fucking chakras
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
