please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
