I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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