So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize