Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
