Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
