keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
he just fucked me for my cheese.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
