My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
