It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize