I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
